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(The two practice safe sex, he says.) His wife, "in one way or another," he continues, has come "to accept it." He explains in a phone interview, "There are no road maps here." He pauses."I don't think I'll live my life as a gay man -- ever. Cruising-for-sex spots, in Rock Creek Park and Meridian Hill Park, just to name two, are attractions. On July 8 at a.m., Bill, the 55-year-old from Boston, leaves this message: "I'm delighted to be a part of this group." He then talks about his wife and how her knowing of his same-sex attraction "threatens" and "hurts" her.Profiles in chat rooms and postings on Web sites are written in code. Later that day, at p.m., Steve, a 48-year-old who works in photography publishing, says this of his situation: "Basically, it works about as well" -- he laughs a shy laugh -- "as something like this can work.We reach out, and often enjoy it when people reach out to us.So it’s natural that the urge to communicate has followed us into the virtual world. After all, it depends on the other person logging on, receiving the mail and replying – all of which takes time.

His relationship with the company started in 1988, before it was America Online."Bimm" translates to bisexual married male; "m4m" translates to "married male for married male." Yesterday at a.m., AOL's chat room listings included rooms such as "Bi Curious Married Men" (36 people there), "dallas bimm4bimm" (36 there, too), and "Bostonbimm4bimm" (another 36). It's a difficult life."Steve, who lives in New York, has been married for 27 years, a "great father," he says, to his two preteen boys.Hook-up ads (sex ads) such as this one in the "Casual Encounters" section of Craigs read: "Traveling to Reston area for business. His wife knows of his ongoing affair with a 47-year-old teacher.Instant messaging became a force with Yahoo Messenger and Microsoft’s MSN Messenger (now Windows Live Messenger), along with AOL’s Aim (as well as other services like ICQ) that allowed you to assemble a “buddy list.” When one of your friends came online you were notified and could begin an online conversation with them.Instant messaging really took off once it became widespread amongst a younger generation, who used it to keep in touch from home with friends.




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