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If the person you're considering dating decides she or he isn't sure or ready, they need more space and time to recover from their loss.""When I was ready to start dating again after being widowed, I made it clear that I didn't want to speak about my late husband.

The question comes up a lot among widowed and those who are interested in dating them – how soon after the death of a spouse is it considered appropriate to begin dating/or pursuing? Other widowed people like to trot out the tired cliché – It’s such a circular and unhelpful answer that I’d like to ban the phrase from the grief lexicon because given the minefield of rules and expectations surrounding widowhood, asking is the only way to clarify whether the signals you are receiving from your peers, family and friends are about your welfare or their self-interest. Scarlett knew the rules on widowed decorum because society at that time spelled it out. It may have sucked, but everyone was clear on the time frame and waited (while perhaps discreetly lining up suitors for once the deadline had passed). Younger widowed date and remarry sooner, and at higher rates, than older ones.

A study conducted in 1996 found that, by 25 months after a spouse's death, 61% of widowers (men) were either remarried or in a new romance compared to just 19% of widows (women), but this is by no means a case of 'one size fits all'.To reach a point where I felt good about taking steps forward and excited about loving again …If a scene could sum up some of my first thoughts after my husband died last year at age 28, it would be the scene in the hit BET series “Being Mary Jane,” when Robinne Lee’s character, Avery, lifts up her shirt exposing her stomach full of stretch marks. She had two kids and the body to prove it, and reentering the dating scene seemed too much to handle.except, there is annoying little voice in the back of my mind (that wasn’t there when I was dating my late 20’s) whispering that I don’t have time for this nonsense, I need to hurry up and find my second chapter and get cracking on the baby-making.And, as you can imagine, there’s nothing like a bit of added pressure to make dating disasters even LESS fun!

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