She'll spoil your pleasure in something by simply congratulating you for it in an angry, envious voice that conveys how unhappy she is, again, completely deniably.

~ Chris Everything [the narcissistic mother] does is deniable. She will carefully separate cause (your joy in your accomplishment) from effect (refusing to let you borrow the car to go to the awards ceremony) by enough time that someone who didn't live through her abuse would never believe the connection. She'll talk about how wonderful someone else is or what a wonderful job they did on something you've also done or how highly she thinks of them. She has let you know that you're no good without saying a word.

People usually get into relationships for love and the need to connect and bond with another.

Narcissists get into relationships for entirely different reasons.

A relationship with a Narcissist always follows three phases, the over-evaluations phase, the devaluation phase and the discard phase.

The Over-evaluation Phase A Narcissist is very careful when choosing a target.

This can leave us dismayed, and in deep disbelief when we view the narcissist as having no conscience when it comes to the treatment of the children.

They do not feel love and they lack the ability to connect and form normal attachment bonds with others. Because their entire sense of self-esteem and self-worth is dependent on the admiration of others, their emotions are a precarious balance of needing others and needing to be left alone. This void is ever present and the only thing that fills it, is the love and esteem of another. A Narcissist describes it this way, “It’s like my brain is constantly seeking something.

It’s like I’m always chasing a carrot at the end of a stick. I feel like I only do things because I’m supposed to, because society does it.

Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert.

She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program.