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Picture it: You meet someone you’re interested in, only to find out soon after that he or she just got out of a relationship.If you mention this to your friends, you’ll be hit with comments like these: “It’s not going to work because you are just the rebound relationship;” “Be careful because this new person shouldn’t jump right into a relationship with someone else.” In these situations, who’s right?Using this Reddit thread about why people who've been together for 20 years or more decide to call it quits, and a few other well-researched sources, I've compiled a list of reasons why some long-term relationships fizzle instead of sizzle (tm, me). Now empty nest for 10 years and we get closer every year.They happened, and we got through them, and each one made us stronger. Listen, I’m a writer with a flair for the dramatic, so my natural communication style can veer into “Anne Shirley reciting ‘The Lady of Shalott’ in a sinking row boat” territory very easily.Just be together, appreciate each other, and tackle each test as they come, because trust me, they’ll come. Being in a relationship has taught me that flowery language and hyperbole have their place, but when you’re communicating with your partner, especially about heavy topics, or feel yourself on the brink of a potential conflict, simple and direct is best. Ask for exactly what you need instead of dropping grandiose hints and getting resentful if they’re not picked up. In addition to communicating as clearly as possible, if you want to stop conflict before it starts, and keep fights from getting unnecessarily messy, you’ve got to own your emotions. Don’t use your relationship as a scapegoat for personal issues/life stress.We've all been in relationships that we were positive would stand the test of time and then crumbled beneath us. We both still feel giddy about Friday night together, music and a drink(s) with the weekend coming up. There remain moments of intense desire to be with her, see her special smile and know that I'm part of her happiness."Follow Laura on Twitter.

Oh and he sleeps more than my cat, but I see that as his best feature. If you give your partner the benefit of the doubt and are generous with their bids for attention, you can survive anything!

But over the years I’ve realized that more often than not, my relationship is affected by the things going on in my life, not vice versa. The old “put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else” cliche is so overused, but alas, it applies here so I’m going to use it.

When I feel fulfilled, happy, and joyful, my relationship does too. You have to take care of yourself first in order to be a good partner, a compassionate friend, a good listener, and a whole and happy human being.

If you start slowly, you will keep your emotions and expectations in check. If there were ever a time to delay intimate activity, it should be when you meet someone who just got out of a relationship.

After a relationship ends, people often want to jump in too quickly in this area because their last experience wasn’t so fulfilling toward the end.




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