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For instance, early on (it’s now been 29 years since my diagnosis), I was rather self-conscious about scars (three, totaling about 21 inches) and the loss of a body part (my right egg).Like many women in treatment for breast cancer or survivors of it, I wish there had been “A Cancer’s Survivor Dating Rule Book” to guide me. And, the biggest fear is rejection.” I certainly remember that fear: There’s no one right time to spring the news.In the recent big screen film, “Thanks For Sharing,” Gwyneth Paltrow plays Phoebe who tells Mark Ruffalo’s Adam that she’s a breast cancer survivor on their first date.Then, when they first bed she says breezily: “Yes, my tits are fake.Once you lose your breasts to cancer or prophylactic surgery, whatever you get in their place is what you have to live with, whether it's a non-reconstructed flat plane, a masterwork of cosmetic surgery or a botch-job.And unlike an augmentation, which many women feel proud enough to flaunt, no one really talks much about their reconstructed breasts; it just feels too personal.I tried dating a few years ago, but the men picked up on my weakness and used it to manipulate me. People say the right guy will be cool with it, but finding the right guy is hard enough! With the caveat that you should broach your history with cancer and your double mastectomy only when you feel ready, I think there’s a lot to be said for saying something right away.

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My boyfriend left shortly after I finished treatment. How do I discuss my surgeries, occasional low energy levels, and what I did with several years of my life?

You can spend a few minutes giving them the broad outline of what happened, then move on to something else you’d like to discuss.

If absolutely nothing else, this will weed out the kind of guy who would consider your having had cancer four years ago as a strike against you.

Symptoms of breast cancer include a lump, bloody discharge from the nipple and/or changes in the shape or texture of the breast.

Approximately one in eight women will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer during her lifetime.




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