You may need to run some sort of background check or something to know what kind of temperament the guy has.

A suave, zen-like guy who can hold in his inner lion is great but if you have a temper tantrum throwing lunatic around your baby, you need to drop him like a bad habit.

Be mindful that flexibility and patience are key qualities.

Every guy I date knows they exist and that sometimes they effect when I am available to go out. When I find someone who I know is here for the long haul then maybe they will meet the kids. You just have to decide what's important to you, and allocate that time. In other words, it is not the kids that will be the main obstacle, it will be the parents and how you have dealt with having children, supporting them emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially, and that even though you two are now divorced, you still act like parents when it comes to your kids. We had a great time, and that time was "adult time" and we enjoyed each others' company. My biggest concerns when dating women with kids are: How involved in your life(not your kids life) is your Ex?

You have to plan ahead to develop a meaningful relationship with a mom. You also need to give her adequate time to find childcare and free time.

It is imperative to be prepared to adapt to unexpected circumstances: kids get sick, babysitters flake, school events pop up, and moms get tired and might not want to go out.

I think that guys even if they can fall in love with you are too afraid for the long term or afraid of having to help with kids that are not theirs? Thank you for responding, just really curious on the topic, sometimes people say to date with 4 kids your asking alot, and some say you just have to meet the right person, my question is how much does it play a role. I did marry a guy with kids, but his kids closer to 30 and do not live with us. Not 9 and 11 and 12 year old would be deal breakers for me... There is someone out there for you who will not mind your kids or helping to pay, clothe, feeed and support them. The biggest problem there is with a situation like this, is making time for your man. If you can't make him feel like he is a priority, then stop dating all together until you can. The problem is as most guys know, kids almost always take priority over husbands and boyfriends.

You have 4x the hurdles to cross that you'd have as someone without kids, and that's life.