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In the last 30 years or so, we’ve seen a dramatic shift in how society views single, unmarried parents.While stigma and perceptions vary by cultural group, and changes in acceptance have occurred at different paces, it’s now commonly accepted that there are unmarried people who have children seeking love and companionship.Women are certainly guilty of putting their kids ahead of their partner — maybe even more so than men, especially since they are nearly always the primary care giver in the event of divorce.But in this moment when men are struggling to claim their place as equal parents while society expects divorced dads to be the lackadaisical weekend father, I get why you are compelled to go overboard with your expressed devotion. If you are indeed ready for a real love, create a space for her.Single mothers, particularly in Black communities, have been viewed both as strong heroines who are the backbones of their families as well as vicious destroyers of the traditional family structure.Single fathers are often demonized as deadbeat dads or heralded for their involvement in their children’s lives.Whatever the perception, the majority of single mothers and single fathers want to date, find loving happiness with a great partner and build a solid companionship that makes them and their children happiest.Anthony, a single father of three, says that being a man with children by multiple women carries a stigma of him being irresponsible and incapable of fidelity and commitment. For a man, he says, dating with children is often easier when the woman of interest has a child too.

Of course he doesn’t dismiss that women with no kids won’t understand; just that dating a woman with children provides an additional level of commonality, one in which you are both similarly situated—this being an optimal position for establishing a relationship.

Anthony believes in being honest in the beginning about his status as a single father of three by two different moms.

The woman of interest has the choice of accepting his parameters and working within them, or rejecting them.

My siblings (I’m the second of four) and I felt utterly abandoned and unloved.

Dad would say: ‘It’s very difficult for Tania, she didn’t have any children, and I presented myself as a free agent with grown-up children, so you need to be adult about this. My ‘full’ brothers and sisters have been taken out of his will.

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