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If your primary love language involves receiving gifts, it implies that you typically hang onto all the love tokens (both big and small) you’ve been given over the years.

You greatly appreciate truly thoughtful gifts, but they don’t have to be expensive; the sentiment behind them is what counts most for you.

You appreciate the little gestures (like filling your gas tank) and big ones (cleaning out the garage) that your date does for you in equal measure.

The problem is, as Chapman puts it, ‘’seldom do a [couple] have the same primary emotional love language.’’And this sets the stage for all sorts of miscommunication: moments where a couple try to express their love to one another but end up missing the signals that mean ‘‘I love you.’’ When someone is important to us, we naturally want to let them know how much they matter – and it can be frustrating when they don’t appreciate our efforts in the ways in which we expect.If we don’t examine this book’s underlying premise, it will not be “The Secret to Lasting Love” as the subtitle promises.It will actually stunt your relationship’s growth, be the cause of conflict, and hinder your intimate relationship from ever becoming the beautiful communion it’s supposed to be.because of the essential differences in their “love languages.” Understanding someone’s primary love language and learning how to speak that language, says Chapman, can go a long way towards improving your relationship and ensuring that the love you believe you’re expressing to him or her is truly felt by your partner.In his book, Chapman categorizes the five love languages — i.e., the mode through which someone most appreciates being shown affection — and offers a quiz (also on the book’s website) for determining which one is primarily spoken by each partner: If your primary love language is words of affirmation, it means that you love to hear a compliment or receive a love letter from your date.

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