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We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. FML Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website.

FML Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand.I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time.While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!FML Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I decided to sit on the glass case protecting cupcakes. I had to pay to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt.FML Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house.




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