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Arthur Aron had an hour to create intimacy levels between couples usually done over the course of weeks or months together, so he decided to create a set of questions that could elicit this type of connection. Although this is not an interview, it is still a way for you to gauge how they react to certain topics and how they express themselves—either honestly or with reservations. #17 How was your relationship with your grandparents? #18 Describe the best day of your life—one that has already happened. #32 Who do you first look for when you encounter a problem?At the end of the experiment, he was both surprised and happy to note the subjects did feel a stronger connection to their counterparts compared to the control group. By giving the couples a set of personal questions they could ask each other on the first date. By telling your date about some personal non-TMI stuff during the first date, you are essentially letting them get to know you better at a rapid rate as opposed to just letting the getting-to-know-you stage play at its own pace. No matter what they say though, the very act of sharing will definitely help you grow closer. #19 What would you like to change about your friends? #21 What’s the most important thing in your life right now? [Read: 40 first date questions to have a fun conversation together] #23 What’s your biggest fear? #25 What’s the first thing you bought with your first paycheck? #33 If someone gave you a blank check *funded, of course*, how much would you write it for, and what would you spend it on first? #37 Where would you like to live for the rest of your life?

When a person finds out something personal about you, they will be able to sympathize or empathize with you. #39 What would you like to change in your life right now? Or, they could also signal the person you’re with is being less than honest.

Would you rather be on a survival reality show or dating game show? Would you rather be the star player on a losing basketball team or ride the bench on a winning one? Would you rather sing a song in front of complete strangers or your closest friends? Would you rather take an action-packed European vacation or spend two weeks at the same Caribbean resort? Would you rather be a character in an action-packed thriller or a romantic comedy? Would you rather be stuck on a broken ski lift or in a broken elevator? For your birthday, would you rather receive cash or gifts?

Would you rather be poor and work at a job you love, or rich and work at a job you hate? Would you rather have your flight delayed by 8 hours or lose your luggage? Would you rather be in your pajamas or a suit all day? Would you rather go deep sea diving or bungee jumping? Would you rather be a kid your whole life or an adult your whole life? Would you feel worse if no one showed up to your wedding or to your funeral? Would you rather be without internet for a week, or without your phone? Would you rather have a desk job or an outdoor job? Would you rather hear the good news or the bad news first? Would you rather be your own boss or work for someone else? Would you rather have nosy neighbors or noisy neighbors?

Why this is a good truth question: This is a great question to get to know him a little better.

A psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook wanted to know how people were able to form romantic relationships with strangers they just met. The questions you ask should be based on things that will show you what type of person you’re dealing with. #8 Aside from the job you have now, what sort of work would you like to do? #12 If you had an infinite amount of resources, how would you use it to change the world? *The recently coined term for the female counterpart to the man cave.* [Read: 40 questions to ask your crush and subtly flirt with them] #14 Why do you think a lot of people are finding it hard to find relationships? #16 How was your life in school while you were growing up?

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