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He'll meet up with you (and maybe even your friends) to go out, but he's not trying to take you to dinner.

He leaves your place in the morning (after some good morning sex), and you think you'll hear from him later that day. It's only polite, and this isn't a one-night stand. When he's out and about, you're supposed to be too.

They're the ones who think doing one nice thing lets them off the hook for being an assh*le. You'll flirtily throw in a little “Wow, you're mean” or “You're being a d*ck,” but he takes it too seriously. He sure has something to say about the places you like to go and the outfits you wear, but he won't shy away from joining you at those places and taking off those clothes.“I love it when you wear black,” he says when you're wearing white.“You're funny when you're angry,” he tells you. The bartender sure loves him, but you're not quite sure if you do.

Every single one of them broke up with me and I was always left feeling like a small piece of me died.For the most part, I was in serious relationships during my early adult life.Looking back, I can say that even the men who took me off the market ended up being douchebags.You ask everyone but the douchebag why he doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends or family, why he insists on having sex without a condom and why he must still talk to his ex every day. DAD for short (I’ll save the Freudian aspect of this for another post).The douchebags always break up with you and you’re constantly left in a state of total despair, crying, “Gosh, there must be something wrong with . Even if you don’t consciously go after douchebags, your subconscious is attracted to them.




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A good looking Hungarian woman who speaks English, German, or French is quite a find, and she knows it. That means they are used to recieving flowers before being taken to the theater and wined and dined afterwards by a nice smelling young man who goes to the bathroom every fifteen minutes to preen in front of a mirror to ensure that he still looks nice and then after two dates he's allowed to get to home base, and then they get married, two years later divorced, and that's where you walk in. You did not go to the same school system, did not serve in the same army, did not grope her same girlfriends in highschool, nor belong to the same Young Communist league. That doesn't mean that meeting the Hungarian girl of your dreams is going to be easy. And taking her out to nice restaurants that normally cost you an arm and a leg, but now leave you a financial quadripelegic.