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“I had a lot of experience growing up where I just talk with people and they’d be like ‘Oh yeah, I think you’re cool, I think you’re nice, but I just don’t date Asian guys,'” he said. Hearing that sort of rejection and then scoring few matches on Tinder can make you feel unattractive and like nobody wants you.

While that used to be a source of “growing frustration” for Tran, today, he believes attraction can be a subconscious amalgamation of upbringing, environment, and other factors, and that people should be allowed to express their preferences when looking for love.

The overall feeling is that gay people of color are merely tolerated in the gay community.

If the media doesn’t show a white girl kissing an asian guy or a black guy, this greatly affects the way we perceive relationships and influences what we see as “normal”.Time and time again, the numbers show that if you’re not white, your chances of finding love online are greatly diminished. According to this study published by Ok Cupid, the groups that have it the hardest are asian men, black men and black women.When presented to people outside of their own race, asian men are seen as -13% less attractive compared to the average man, black men are -17% less attractive and black women are at -19%. So what’s behind all this apparent bias on Ok Cupid?Are we all just closet racists or does the problem run deeper? Zach Stafford who writes for the Guardian explains that:“The media tells us what we think is beautiful.When you live in a world that only shows white people being happy and in love and successful, even as people of color you’re going to want that, and that’s kind of what fuels your dating desires and sexual racism.”Despite comprising more than 15% of the California population, Asian Americans are hardly represented in media.




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