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She ought to be shattered, but as she sweeps into the YOU photo shoot, a vision of caramel-skinned, sinuous beauty with voluminous hair and carmine lipstick, a hunk of olive bread and profanely calorific French cheese in her hand (yes, people, she eats! The single is breathy, sexy and, thanks to an almost criminally catchy chorus, has the words ‘sure-fire summer hit’ running through it like a stick of rock.

), she is cresting such a tsunami of energy it’s impossible not to get swept up.‘I love British people! Truth be told we weren’t at all bubbly ten minutes ago, quite the opposite. But Nicole fizzes with such a surfeit of – to use her own catch phrase – ‘shamazing’ effervescence, that just as the Queen probably thinks her kingdom smells like fresh paint, the former X Factor sweetheart and singer is under the bizarre impression that the UK is peopled by irrepressible euphorics. It’s also one of the reasons why, after two series spent watching Nicole laughing, weeping (she even cries prettily), gasping and emoting on The X Factor judging panel, the nation has taken the ex-Pussycat Doll to its heart. Of course we know there is promotion to be done and personal appearances to be made, and then there are those kooky Müller yoghurt adverts on the go, but surely, Nicole, can’t you just juggle a little harder and squeeze The X Factor into your schedule?

If, however, the parent wants to keep the kid’s heart rate down for some reason, then perhaps the kid is breaking the rule.

Similarly, for artificial sweeteners, they are okay if you’re avoiding sugar because of calories, and not so good if you’re trying to reduce your sweet tooth. Rules are often blunt instruments, kept simple to make them memorable, or to make it easier to see when someone is breaking it, when the rationale for the rule might be more abstract.

Whenever I do anything I give 100 per cent; when I was a judge, I invested so totally in the contestants and helping them achieve their potential, and that took up all my head space and my heart too, so my music was put on the back burner. It has to be said that the slightly gruesome all-American triumvirate of positivity, sincerity and openness usually makes us cynical Brits wince.

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