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Rope-making in Saharanpur is a traditional skill dating from the Mughal era; the rope, or baan is painstakingly twisted and woven from the bhabhar grass (Eutaliopsis binata) which grows tall and wild in the Shivalik foothills, a natural forest product that produces an unchecked and fresh crop every year.

Close to 40,000 families in this arid region, a belt of land 8 km wide and 60 km long and bordered by the Yamuna on the west and the Ganga on the east, depend almost entirely on rope-making for their livelihood.

Unfortunately, the quality of much dating advice and the atmosphere of most dating venues ranges from superficial to downright demeaning.

The skills of dating are the skills of intimacy—not game-playing.

Slowly and inexorably, however, more and more of the rope-makers, who belong to the lowly Harijan cobbler caste or the backward 'Bandookchi' Muslims, are being squeezed into destitution, or migration to other areas in search of labour.

Vanishing Industry: The slow dying of the Saharanpur baan industry has been induced by the Uttar Pradesh Government's Forest Corporation, a body that is supposed to protect traditional forest-based industry, and a combination of forest contractors, middlemen, and a powerful clique of rope traders from Saharanpur.

“But I think what PEERS has established is that this is actually a set of skills that can be learned, that you don’t have to be born with them.” (Lawrence K.

Today, she offers step-by-step advice on how to deal with internal and external obstacles, screen and evaluate dates for desirable qualities and compatibility, and manage the dating process with confidence and skill.

Many clients follow up with Kat once they’re in a relationship for additional help identifying and overcoming any obstacles to intimacy.

Elizabeth Laugeson is an assistant clinical professor at UCLA’s Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior.

“A lot of people think that social skills in general are innate, that you’re hard-wired in some way and that you either are born with social skills or you’re not,” Laugeson says.




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