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However, if you come from a traditional Asian family, introducing your boyfriend to your parents can be a cultural minefield that you’d rather not walk through. Because even though you love your parents for all that they’ve sacrificed, introducing them to a boy can be more stressful than simply hiding said boy forever.So here’s how to help all parties involved remain ignorant of each other’s existence for as long as possible.Think about it this way: some white parents accept their queer children, and some don’t.But nobody assumes that they’ll know how a white parent will react because “all white parents act a certain way.”Not only that, but blaming Asian parents for their supposed homophobia scapegoats them.We all like to complain about our Asian parents – they are strict, they are not cool, they like to nag, and they love to control, etc.These are all very real struggles, but on the flipside of the coin, they will always support our education and careers, and will rarely (or ever) give up on us.

Cos they don't just sit on your epidermis, they're wrapped around every blood cell in your body. Kiasu-ism If you're a westerner, you'd be like...the fudge is she on about? Kiasu parents would: - hire a tutor or send their kids to tuition to cover every subject in school so that they would be well versed before their teachers even got around to teaching the topic. You sneak out of the house to hang out with your friends. Or secretly have a boyfriend and you're so in love that you want to spend every minute of the day with him. Western parents: (trying to be calm but still frustrated)You're grounded. Again, notice the fact that we're not broaching on the subject of pre-marital sex or "sleepovers" because that will ensure another round of total annihilation scenario. God forbid if YOU don't have a boyfriend at the ripe old age of 24. Having straddled both the Asian and Western cultures for more than 20 years, it occurred to me that parenting styles from both continents couldn't be more different. The condition is widespread and extremely contagious particularly in Malaysia and Singapore. Every girl approaching puberty would have been given THE TALK by her parents.As you can tell, I'm speaking from an Asian perspective here. The word is a bastardization of the hokkien dialect (a southern chinese dialect) meaning afraid (kia) to lose (su). The Kiasu virus is deeply embedded in our Asian DNA. Asian parents: (anger personified and borderline Hiroshima scale explosion) You bring shame to our family! You know, the one about studies being of utmost importance to ensure a good future. Their dreams of bouncing their next generation on their old knees completely decimated. So they enlist their friends' help to set you up with a guy (a boy with good prospect, good family and he even owns his own house!! It blames them (and their “cultures”) for homophobia, thereby deflecting attention from the larger social and institutional forces that oppress queer people.Introducing your boyfriend to your parents is a normal step in any relationship with a white person.




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