" If you answer these questions sincerely and still want to date him, you then face the problem of making it happen - or rather, making him make it happen. They fall outside of the predator-prey model for sexual interactions that is assumed in the "don't initiate contact" rule.

So it is acceptable for you to initiate with a shy guy. The problem with male shyness is that it wears off in specific situations.

Lesbians all over the world struggle with the question of dating protocol every single day. How do you know who is supposed to wear the pants and pay for dinner? From the first date to a long term relationship, you have to figure things out how to make things work in your best interest. Even though there aren’t any cookie mold answers to all your questions about lesbian dating rules, there are certainly some good rules to live by. In general, if you’ve initiated the date, offer to pay for it. Sure, she might wave you off and insist on paying for her share.

The truth is, there’s no definitive answer about a lot of these things.

Proponents of the methods offered in the book point to The Rules as having positive results for both men and women.

They represent the point of view that men enjoy being the aggressor and are inspired to treat women better who choose behaviors which set up boundaries and slow down the courtship process.

At most, it is a reliable source of advice for women who want to improve their chances with the opposite sex.

A post I made about why women shouldn't take the initiative in relationships evoked some questions about how to deal with shy men - after all, shy men don't chase women, and are unlikely to initiate anything.

Again, there’s no hard and fast rule about where you might decide to crash for the night, although there are definitely some things to take into consideration. Play it safe when you decide the best place for you to spend time together. Don’t mention how much they broke your heart (or worse, how badly you broke their heart).

I went from “on the fence” to over the fence in a hurry on that one just because I felt like her decision to allow me to pay was in bad taste. For instance, if yours is an old-school Butch/Femme pairing, you can bank on the fact that the Femme is most likely waiting for the Butch to make the first move. Men have been complaining about that one for centuries. Then there are other questions to consider based on a well you actually know each other. Do you trust her enough to go into her home blindly?

I personally love doing the asking and feel a sense of satisfaction from making the first move. If you aren’t in the full trusting mode of your relationship, you may want to stick with public places.

It’s an age-old question, and one that causes all of us anxiety at some point as we look at the bill sitting on the table and wonder if we should grab it … But offering is the right thing to do (and being prepared to follow up with you pay for your half, your beautiful illusion of a girl-in-shining-armor might be tarnished on the spot.

For instance, I was out with a woman once, and it came time to pay the check.