It’s harsh to judge someone for finding happiness with a new partner ‘too quickly’, and not trust them to know their own mind.

However, it can also take a long time to process grief, and it can be disastrous to start a new relationship when still in the depths of bereavement – although very understandable, when someone is desperately craving the affection and company they’ve lost.

We’re always incredibly touched by the stories we hear and think it’s wonderful that both are taking steps to seek companionship.

However, some bumps along the process could possibly be avoided by not “crossing the border” from widow to divorcee.

If I’d met my widower within a year or two of him losing his wife, I think I’d have concentrated on developing a friendship with him, and would have been very cautious of anything more until I felt confident he was ready.

It’s an unchosen label that both connects them to others that have experienced the same trauma, but also makes them feel as if a world made for couples has thrown them aside.

As a result, the question has been asked: Should you be dating a widower as a divorcee, and visa-versa?

For one member who has recently come out of a relationship (we’ll call him “Howard” since he did not want his name to be shared), said that it’s not something that he would be willing to do again.

Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick!

Some forums can only be seen by registered members. In the grand scheme of things, three months is not a very long time.